Wow! I just finished reading Gillian Anderson’s Want, which is a compilation of anonymous essays written by women, describing their deepest sexual desires and fantasies, often previously never shared with anyone. Oh my, are they deep indeed…
“Truthfully, it’s a little frightening to put pen to paper with the fear of being judged too harshly, but here I am sharing with every ounce of courage I have”, confesses one brave woman contributor.
Anderson has organised the fantasies by theme, which makes the book easy to dip in and out of, depending on your mood. The compilation of approximately 300 letters (out of more than 1000 which she received) is an act of reverence towards women from across the globe. It is Anderson’s commitment to putting women centre stage, and to ensuring that the mic is on so that they can be seen and heard, with curiosity and without judgment, in their intimately naked humanness.
I recommend the book to people of all sexualities and genders and to social scientists. Different audiences may find the book fascinating or even healing for different reasons.
Women and non-binary individuals may find it therapeutic to recognise their own fantasies within the hundreds shared, thus shaking off some of the shame that is so deeply attached to women expressing sexuality. I bet every reader will recognise at least one fantasy that they share with a contributor.
Men may find it educational because it opens a curious door to the rich but traditionally hidden sexual imagination of women. The book can spark a conversation between them and their partners about the types of fantasies they get most and least excited by. The book can ultimately be a tool for understanding your partner better.
Social scientists may enrich their understanding of how social conditioning, power dynamics, norms and the times we live in have affected if not shaped women’s fantasies. “‘Is it crazy that my wildest sexual fantasy is to feel safe?’” reads a moving and poignant reflection from a woman who grew up feeling very unsafe. One of many millions, as statistics would have it.
What women crave and fantasise about provides a window on some of the biggest societal dilemmas of our times. Gillian Anderson has captured so much in so few pages. This makes Want well worth your time.
